Tuesday, June 28
a little of this and a little bit of that
sometimes i wonder if i would be happier if i were to be my old submissive self.
no arguments with people.
no longer daring or bold.
be the miss goody goody to everyone.
no need to depend on other people.
no loudness, no self-esteem.
just being the plain ol' submissive me
the me who will listen to everyone and not question what they are saying, letting them have all the self confidence they have and need.
the me who will just sit aside silently, so silently that nobody knows she exist.
the me who will just stone wherever she go and whatever she do.
the me who will be left out in everything.
the me who never had real friends.
the me who is constantly lost.
the me who does not dare to cry.
the me who is constantly depressed.
the me who is always starving herself.
the me that i did not like.
it's a wrap@4:12 PM
missing it all
school has since started.
it's kind of slack cos i'm in no mood to solve any problems. haha.
sleeping time has been decreased ever since school started *yawn*
watched
Mr. & Mrs. Smith yesterday, on tv :P i was telling him about how most of my classmates were all going out to watch
Initial D (a movie that both of us wants to watch) and he took out all the dvds i brought over and took that movie out and said, "let's go!" hehe.
while watching the movie, the both of us were like asking each other questions like "omg! i can't believe she did that!", "it's equal cos she shot him, he blasted her. then he shot her, she let him fall with the car." etc. lol! quite hilarious. and the critics were right, brad pitt and angeline jolie really did have quite a lot of chemistry. especially the part when they tore the house down fighting, and faced each other with a gun and brad said he couldn't do it. her expression and reaction to his words appeared so real and all.
ok, movie aside. shall wait for my dad to get the dvd to
Initial D. haha.
now in class and doing some work. today's kind of like SLACK. haha. nevermind. gonna do a test in front of the class in a while, i should go practice.
*sob* no lunch today.. jae was suppose to buy for us. but she came back with all our money and said she's not going to the canteen. and it was too late to get someone else to buy already cos they have all returned...
it's a wrap@1:12 PM
Friday, June 24
it's the 11th month =)
my mum always ask me this question.
"when are you coming home? Or are you going to stay there for good?"
i never really answered her. i thought she ought to know why by now. but she's spending way to much time complaining to other people, seeking their sympathy, that her children are no good when she should go think about why i am reacting to her like that.
here's the ultimate 5 reasons as to why i DON'T WANT to go home.
1, she spends too much time on self-pitying. this simple drives me nuts. how would you like to hear someone constantly telling you something similar to this, "what must i do? i must go and die is it?" and then slaps herself and kneels in front of you, when all that has happened was just a normal arguement with your sibling.
question: can you live with that everyday?
2, they interrogate me like i'm some kind of criminal. "why are you taking the bag? going out is it?". "what are you all talking about? Why? Why talk until like that?". "why you take so many plastic bags for?". "what you doing? why you doing this?". WHY WHY WHY. there's more questions but i can't be bothered to type them all out. it might just kill me, thinking of the way they said it.
question: can you live with that everyday?
3, my mum tells my elder sister that i should just get married and be a housewife. no need to further my studies (yay! for some. but it isn't exactly a compliment)
question: can you live with the person that said that about you everyday?
4, they don't let me keep my pet rabbit at home, not even for a day or two. they don't even give me proper reasons as to why i can't bring the rabbit home. they just shouted over the phone "I SAY CANNOT MEANS CANNOT!"
question: can you live with people who hates animals everyday?
5, they are always accusing me of spending WAY too much of their money. so fine. i'm getting $200 a month for food and $120 for public transport. i do ask for money occasionally (like once in 3months) to buy stuff. each time not more than $150. i bought my own camera, bought my own memory card, handphone was a present from sean, any trips to anywhere is paid by sean. i don't drink or go clubbing. i cut my hair once in a long, long time, and once in 6months to do rebonding. BUT! my elder sis is getting more than $300 a month, and gets money to take cab to school and back home everyday. AND they paid for her camera, her trip to club med and wherever, her handphones and clubbing lifestyle and whatever stuff she needs, like hair treatment etc. (if you're wondering, there's actually more than these.)
they also accuse me of not studying hard enough just because they never ever saw me studying.
question: can you live with such accusations everyday?
if you answer YES to all of the above mentioned questions, you can come stay here for me.
and she wonders why i don't like coming home.
it's a wrap@11:13 PM
finally
after god knows how many hours of designing and stuff, i finally have my blog up and running.
THANKS GOD!
ok, i have to go shower now and then head down to the club to bowl.
it's a wrap@3:56 PM
new blog new blog
moses let me in on his world.
and that made me itch to start a new blog.
so here i am!
it's a wrap@11:29 AM
